Funny ways to say masturbate

Here's a quiz. Spanking the monkey. Five finger shuffle. Making the bald man cry. Poaching your egg.
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21 Creative Euphemisms For Female Masturbation

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How Many Of These Euphemisms For Male Masturbation Have You Heard?

This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love. First, have you considered just saying "masturbation? But if you really can't do it — or if you're some kind of slang aficionado — you'll be thrilled to know that there are dozens of unusual euphemisms for masturbation at your disposal.
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How Many Of These Euphemisms For Male Masturbation Have You Heard?

Not always as fun. While there are many fun and common euphemisms for male masturbation, women are often left empty-handed so to speak. Maybe if we gave women more names for dialing their rotary phones, we'd be more inclined to talk about female masturbation in general. Dudes have a ton of wonderfully perverse and creative names for "charming the snake" so why can't ladies get a fair share of choices? US Edition U.
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Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows. DJ the VJ. Dopamine farming. Double clicking your mouse.
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